No-Go

It didn't work out this time.  Oh, well.  What can I say.  It was khayr.  (wasn't meant to be by God)  The doc set me up for  surgery in Dec.  She wants to widen the cervix and look inside the uterus.  She said it could be that I have a polyp or the top of the uterus is sunken or there is tissue that shouldn't be there.  Endometriosis is a wonderful thing.  

For now it is again hurry up and wait.  My doc said to stop taking my hormone pills and I should get  a period.  Great.  I don't even want to think about the fact that when that period comes it is the two possible children I could have had. 

I am handling it well though, Alhumdullilah!  I have not cried.  I don't want to.  I feel like it wasn't khayr so why cry over it.  I prayed the whole time that if it was khayr then Allah should bless me with a second child.  Obviously it was khayr.  So, life goes on.

I am even more greatful that I have one very intelligent son.  The doc told me when I found out I was pregnant that it was a miracle that I had even gotten pregnant.  Seems she was right.  The good old doc...

I feel even more so for those that are not able to have any children at all.  Everyone should know the frustation of being a mother.  LOL! 

Have a good day and thanks again for reading and for your prayers!!!