Transfer...finally....

I was scheduled to have the embryo transfer on Tuesday.  Went to my appointment.  On the way there I hit a parked (yes, parked) car.  A Porsche!  Off all the cars to hit.  Don't know how I did it.  Guess I was too worked up and just judged wrong.  Anyhoo....after leaving a note on the guys car, went to the clinic.  They prepped me and turns out the doc couldn't get through the cervix.  She said it was totally stuck together.  She did try to puncture it but I was gonna climb the walls so she said come back tomorrow and will put you under and then do the transfer. 

Yes, I was bummed.  First the car, then the transfer couldn't be done.  But I said, well Allah, you say there is a blessing in everything so there has to be one here too.  The doc did tell me before she even tried to do the transfer that one of the cells was developing slower than it should be.  Maybe it needed another day? 

Wednesday, back to the clinic with a girlfriend in two to drive me home after the procedure.  Didn't take long.  I didn't have much pain yesterday evening.  A bit of cramping and that was it.  One of the docs did tell me that the doc doing the procedure really had a hard time getting through the cervix.  That doc told me she made a small entrance and did the transfer.  IF it doesn't take this time she recommends that I have a surgery done to open up the cervix to make it easier next time.  I said God willing there won't be a next time and she yes. 

So I am now in the wonderful 2ww.  (2 week wait)  My son has fall break for a week and DH is out of the country for a week.  I am supposed to take it easy and stay away from stress.  Yeah....tell that to my mouth that is today (all of a sudden) full of those tiny blisters that just kill you!!!!!!  I have some stuff I can put on it but the package says it's never been tested on pregnant women.  And since it is homeopathic I don't want to chance it.  I love homeopathic stuff but I know some plants and herbs will cause an abortion.  And since we are trying to get these little guys or girls to implant....don't want to do that.

Will most likely write about how I am feeling over the next two weeks and see if I even make it to the appointment at the clinic or if I break down and buy a HPT.  You know how patient I am....

The big day...

So tomorrow is the big day.  The doc will insert two eggs into my womb.  The rest is up to Allah.  (God)  I pray that it is His will that I have another child. (or two...he he)  They took 10 eggs from me and out of that 5 actually took.  The froze 3 right away.  The other two were left to grow.  Tomorrow they will be 5 days old. 

As much as I tell myself not to get too excited I find myself already looking for names.  And not just one.  LOL! 

Insha'Allah khayir.  (I pray that it is God's will and that it is good)  Sorry...hard to literlly translate that one...

I will let y'all know how it went.  After tomorrow starts the 2WW.  Two week wait.  I have an appointment on 8 Nov to take a pregnancy test at the clinic. 

Allah, please grant me patience and the ability to accept Your will, no matter what it is....amin!

Thank you in advance for your prayers!  (jazak Allahu khayran!)

nervous/scared/uh......

So I guess the biggest reason is because I know after this IF I have eggs that are able to be fertilized it means a two to three week wait before I can even find out if I am pregnant.  I can already see myself with a child but at the same time do not want to think about it as I don't handle dissappointment well at all.  Even though I know whatever happens it is God's will and there is nothing I can do about it except say alhumdulliah.(Thanks be to God) 

Am sure I will be pretty much out of it tomorrow as the procedure is done under general anesthia.  If I feel up to it I might post.  If not, then on Friday.  Thanks for reading!

Update

Ok, so I didn't get to really finish my last post.  Can't rememeber what happened but I ended up posting instead of just saving it...anyhooo....

I had an ultra sound yesterday (Monday) and we could see 6 follicles on the right side and 4 on the left.  They were all between 15 and 22 mm.  (which is really good)  Just so you get the idea...normally a woman will produce one to two follicles during a normal cycle.  The shots I have been giving myself were to stimulate the ovaries and create more, which it did!

Had a chat with the anesthetist before I left the clinic yesterday.  The procedure will take place on Thursday morning.  It is done under general anesthesia and lasts max half an hour.  Then of course there is the two to three hours afterwards you have to wait to make sure you're ok, etc.  Hubby will be there and will have a fresh sample of his stuff ready for them that morning.  I had to laugh about it....these docs let your husband ejaculate at home and bring it to the clinic.  Instead of them having to go into the bathroom and do their thing.  I am sure it is a lot less embarrassing for them this way. 

Anyway....so the procedure goes like this...they puncture the follicles and withdraw the fluid and any eggs that might be in there.  (no, there is no guarentee that there is an egg in the follicle...but I am praying)  Then the eggs, if any, are put under the microscope and checked out.  After that the eggs are put together with the sperm and they are left in an incubator.  Then after this....we will wait 5 days for them to become blastocells.  It seems that when the transfer takes place after 5 days instead of the usual 2-3 days there is less chance of a tubal pregnancy since the zygot is bigger. 

Now, after all this is said and done and the zygots (they will insert two) have been inserted....we wait two weeks to take a pregnancy test.  The chance of me becoming pregnant is 25%.  (age, endometriosis, etc. taken into account)  I am banking on God and what He knows is best. 

The next few weeks will be hard I know.  I have stoped taking my meds (anti-depresstion, stress) and have cut down on the cigs to almost nil.  Will post after the procedure on Thursday.  I take one more shot tonight.  It is the shot to allow the follicles to release from the ovaries.  Since I took a shot to send me into menopause, my body can't do it on it's own.  But this is normal for all women that go through this procedure.  So, tonight at 11pm I will take one last shot.  Then Thursday morning after we drop off my son we are off to see the wizard....

til then!

Stimulation

Started stimulation shots last Thursday.  Went to the doc and she said my cyst had decreased in size enough to start.  So after paying a tidy little sum for the meds...I started giving myself shots every evening.  I have another appointment on Wedesday to see how the girls (ovaries) are doing and make sure the dosage of the shots is enough/too much.  Then if all goes well, we should have an appointment between Monday and Wednesday to remove the eggs from me and fertilize them.  Then after a few days of them growing in the lab they will be transfered to me...

2nd ultra sound

Had my second ultra sound this morning to see if the cyst had shrunken anymore.  Good news!!!  It shrunk another centimeter.  So the doc said we could go ahead and start with the IVF.  She wrote out my scripts and I went to the pharmacy a happy camper.  Then I had to pay for my meds and wasn't so happy...LOL!  for two shots and two meds that I need during this treatment it cost me over 500 euros.  I have to pay 50% of the treatment.  My insurance pays the rest.  So we are off to the races as they say.  God willing it will take on the first time.  I am trying not to get my hopes up because I am one that doesn't handle disappointment well at all.  But I am still praying that it will take on the first try. 

I am a mix of different emotions.  From don't even think about it to what if it's a girl?!!!!  OR what if it's twins!!!!!  My hubby was very happy about it when we talked this morning.  He's always wanted more children.  If it was up to him we would have already had 3 or 4.  But God had other plans for us. 

I start taking my stimulation shots this evening.  The doc said I could start taking them right away as the down regulation shot I had taken several weeks ago wouldn't bring on a period any way.  So I basically have no cycle. 

This is how it works as of right now....I take the stimulation shots for the next 10-14 days.  (a 'pen' that I shoot myself with every day)  During the last few days, depending on how the u/s are looking and how fast my ovaries produce any eggs then we will go to the clinic and have some eggs removed from me.  They call it punkution.  They basically puncture your stomach and retract them that way with a needle.  (no I will not be awake during this).  Then they will fertilize the eggs there (that's one reason hubby has to be there that day).  After a few days (between 2 and 5) the fertilized eggs will be transplanted to me.  They will only transfer two eggs.  One due to my age and the other due to the fact that I really only want one or two more children. 

Oh!  I forgot to tell you!  During the u/s this morning she looked at my right ovary (the one that is cyst free right now) and there were a bunch of black spots on it.  I asked her what that was and she said it's follicles.  I said that's good right?!  She kind of laughed and said yes, that's very good.  Ok, so what does that mean you ask?  It means that my right ovary is making eggs.  Even with the down regulation shot the ovaries will still produce eggs they just won't release them.

So, now you ask, then how are the eggs going to be released with you giving yourself shots to stimulate the ovaries....two of the meds she wrote me this morning are for that.  They are tablets and the cause the ovaries to release the eggs right before they do the punctuation. 

That's it for now.  Will post more as I will have an appointment next week for an u/s.  This is routine my doc said.  They keep the ovaries under close control to try to keep from over stimulating them.  Then she will also see if my shots need to be upped or decreased. (the dosage I mean)   Will also let you know if I am having any side effects or not.  Say your prayers for me!!!!!  Thanks for the ones you've said so far...

another appointment....

Going back Thursday another ultra sound to see if the cyst has gotten any smaller.  Had an appointment last week and it had shrunk by 2 cm.  The doc is hoping for another 2 cm shrink and then we can get started.  Will see what God has in store. 

I don't really have any feelings to share right now.  I am kind of in limbo.  Guess I'm not wanting to get my hopes up to have them crushed once again.  Will post after the appointment if I'm not too depressed...LOL!