Day one...the first shot

Today I gave myself the first shot in a series of many to come.  I did it myself at home. (at my neighbors acutally...LOL!)  This first shot is a down regulator.  It is meant to basically swing me into menopause.  Stop the hormones from flowing and hopefully decrease the size of this latest cyst.

I guess I should fill you all in a bit.  I will be 39 in January and have a son that is 7 years old now.  I have been trying to concieve a second child for almost 4 years now.  Come to find out that I have a serious case of endometriosis and I seemed to have concieved my son by the miracle of God's will.  (my OB/GYN even said so at the time).  I was a soldier in the army at the time and destined for Iraq as it was kicking off and then all of a sudden I was pregnant.  So, I do see it as Allah's will that I concieved a child.  Moving on....I have a laproscopy in May of this year to remove the endo and a cyst.  Right after the surgery (and I mean the same day) my reproductive specialist (known from now on as RE) who also did the surgery, told me that there was practically no way I could concieve naturally.  That IVF was my only way. 

So that brings ya up to date.  I was scheduled to see my RE this week and started having some serious pain last week along with fever.  Went to my regular OB/GYN and he said I had a cyst that was 4 cm.  Wrote me a script for anti-biotics and said I needed to be looked at again in 10 days.  Then my appointment with my RE.  I told her about it and she looked at the cyst via ultra sound (U/S).  In a week, it had grown to 6 cm.  We were planning on starting right away with the hormone shots to be able to harvest an egg or two, but now with this cyst she said there was no way.  Yes, the tears welled up in my eyes.  She rubbed my leg and said...stay positive..I know this endo is a terrible thing.  We will do it together.  Ok, so ya, it made me feel a little better, but not quite...you know what I mean? (kwim) 

My husband was with me and I did not want to talk about it after we left the clinic.  I still don't.  I'm just trying not to think about it and to stay positive.  After all...everything is in Allah's hands.  If He wants that I have a second child, then it will happen....eventually. 

So far, the site that I gave myself the shot is sore feeling.  Right after I gave myself the shot, it burned.  But a weird burn.  It is hard to describe.  It wasn't like a hot burning.  It was similar to the burning of a hep B &C shot if you ever had one.  (and if you were in the military, you had one...)

Ok, that's it for today.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.  Thanks for reading.  I appreciate your comments of support.  If you have negative comments, save them for someone else.  I have enough negativity in my own manic/depressive mind.